The overnight bus to Chiang Mai was made completely
unbearable by the smelliest guy in Thailand, possibly the world, sat in front
of us. He smelt so badly that it actually burnt my nostrils and when we got off
the bus he was the topic of every conversation.
Besides that the journey went quite quickly, we stopped off halfway to
get food at a place rife with cockroaches and other bugs- I reached for a
packet of mentos only to look down in horror at the box containing them which
also held hundreds of tiny little insects.
We arrived in Chiang Mai with only a road name to find our
accommodation, luckily after a bit of walking we came across a street map and
found Mojito Garden quite easily. We couldn’t check in straight away so had
some breakfast in the guest house restaurant. It was pretty gross, we both
quite tired and Dibbs was moody. To make his breakfast a bit tastier, Dibbs
went for a bottle of ketchup which exploded all over him when he opened it. HA
HA HA- it was all over both of our faces and the floor in the restaurant. Still
not able to check in we left our bags and wondered into town (with the remnants
of the ketchup explosion still splattered here and there). We didn’t really
know where we were going and it was baking hot so we spent a lot of time
walking around aimlessly; we were both a bit low being so tired from the bus
journey and our GoPro camera that we’d spent a lot of money on had stopped
working which we were frustrated with. Despite this we did walk down to the
river and see a guy fishing with a huge net to walk back through a food market;
this was incredible with vast baskets full of chillies, garlic onions, fruit,
veg and an eye widening selection of live fish. 
After checking in and having a short nap we took a taxi to
Tiger Kingdom. I didn’t really know what to expect from this as it is the kind
of thing you can be continually ripped off with and we had also heard that a
lot of the tigers in Thailand are drugged so that they’re sedated for
interaction with people. These tigers were definitely not drugged. We walked
into the ‘Tiger Kingdom’ area which held a number of enclosures with various
ages and sizes of tigers. I had really been looking forward to getting up close
with the tigers but actually, simply walking past all the enclosures was
amazing. I’ve never seen so many tigers; at the zoo everyone wants to go see
the tigers and get excited when one turns a head or gets up and walks a few
steps but these tigers were so active; jumping in and out of pools, play
fighting each other. I was suddenly quite scared to be going into the enclosure
and extremely glad that we had chosen to meet the small tigers and not the
large- the tourists in with large tigers looked simply terrified with these
huge animals running all around them. Luckily ours were quite quiet and mostly
lying around napping. Our guide took us straight up to the first tiger and
indicated that we should get up close immediately. We were introduced to about
four or five tigers that we stroked, lay down next to, played with their tails
and paws. It was surreal being close to such a rare wild animal and I almost
didn’t take it in until afterwards. I think because they were lying down and we
were just stroking them it was almost as though they could have been anything.
However when we got to the last tiger the guide had it playing with a big stick
and I was much more awed by being so close to tigers playing. It was scary but
amazing at the same time. It also made me appreciate the close contact that we
had just had with them. After spending 15 minutes with the tigers we walked
around the other enclosures and also saw even smaller tigers and lots of tiger
play. Safe to say we were much more cheerful on leaving Tiger Kingdom. 
That night we wanted to go out for some dinner and drinks
somewhere with a sociable atmosphere but found it really difficult navigating
around Chiang Mai. The whole city is set in a square about 2kmsq so is really
spread out and we couldn’t seem to find a central hub which was a bit
disappointing. We still had some really nice Thai food though and got an early
night ready to be up at 7.30am the next day.
Bright and early the next day we were shattered but excited
for our elephant experience which we had been looking forward to for a long
time.
We were picked up in an air-conditioned van which was amazing after
waiting around in the sticky morning sun. The journey to Patara Elephant Farm
showed us some beautiful scenery and I realised how far north and into the
mountains we were staying. We met the rest of our group and all copiously
applied bug spray (I have already suffered at the hands of these complete
cretins). As a group we walked over to a seating area where a huge elephant was
standing with a trainer. We were all immediately reduced to ‘ooos’ and ‘ahhhs’.
The guides allowed us to take it in turns to stroke and feed her, telling her
‘bon’ to open her mouth for a banana and ‘dede’ for ‘good’. Following this we
had a talk with both the owner of the farm and the man responsible for the
health of the elephants. We learnt interesting facts about the elephant and the
way that the farm works. We were also given traditional Mahout clothing to
wear. Next we were off to meet our elephants. The first one we encountered was
a huge male with tusks who was partnered with one of the girls from our group.
We got into the main area where there were a lot of elephants and Dibbs was
introduced to his big, grey elephant Bun Jun (the crazy). I was videoing Dibbs
feeding bananas to Bun Jun and so ended up being last to meet my elephant but
when I turned round there was the sweetest, smallest in the group, elephant,
Lucky (the cute). I fed her a whole basket of bananas using the commands ‘bon’
and ‘dede’ that we had already learned. After this she got some long bamboo
leaves and gave me a cuddle by wrapping her trunk around me. Dibbs’ elephant
was a complete terrorist and after finishing all her food went on the hunt for
more and when the trainer was speaking to us we could see her crashing around
in the background carrying food in her trunk making sure none of the other
elephants could get any. So they say that they try to match you with an
elephant that has a personality like your own..... Both of our elephants at 12 and 14 were
pregnant for the first time but the trainers explained that they still need
regular exercise to be healthy during pregnancy.
We went on to learn some important things in checking for
good health in each of our elephants; flapping ears and tail swishing, mud on
sides as proof that they slept lying down, sweat by toes ( the only places
elephants sweat) and poo- checking fibre, squeezing to see if it was moist and
checking amount. After this the elephants we ready to be washed but first we
had to get them to lie down to brush the loose mud from their backs. This was
hard work as you had to swish hard with the bamboo leaves to get it all off. We
used the command ‘look’ to get the elephants to stand back up and walked them
to the river by saying ‘ma’ and walking with them. We got to a clearing at a
pool above a waterfall; the location was stunning, with a small waterfall
behind and a pool with a massive waterfall gushing below us. The elephants went
eagerly into the water and we followed with our trainers explaining that we
would need to get onto their backs to wash them. They didn’t need to ask us
twice and we were soon washing and playing in the water with our elephants. They
were keen for us to have nice pictures and asked Dibbs to come and sit on Lucky
with me so that we could have couples photos. After cleaning their heads,
trunks and the top of their backs we walked closer to the top of the waterfall
where it was shallower and finished scrubbing their skin. Then, when all the
elephants were stood together we rinsed them down as a group and turned around
for them to shower us with their trunks. 
Once we had finished bathing the elephants we
took them back up to the open ground and the trainers showed us how to climb
onto them to take them for their exercise. There were three methods of
correctly mounting the elephants, two from the trunk and one from the leg. A
‘graceful mount’ is the best way to describe the trainers’ way up and down. An
‘un-co-ordinated clamber’ is closer to the way everyone else went up. I went up
trunk end and have a picture in my head of me heaving myself on, arms and legs
flailing everywhere, grabbing and poking poor Lucky on the head to hurl myself
up. At least I got up first time. This was the part of the elephant experience
that I had been most looking forward to; picturing myself as graceful, at one
with nature and the elephants, trekking through the jungle; in place of this, I
was nervously hitched up behind Lucky’s ears, clinging on for dear life as we
lurched around up and down some steep hills. It was wonderfully terrifying. I
soon got separated from Dibbs who, sat on lively Bun Jun, had stormed far
ahead. Once I started to relax a little and felt less as though I would come
crashing to the ground and with each step I started to laugh- I could see Dibbs
up ahead completely out of control, on Bun Jun who, by this point, had a
substantial about of vegetation in her trunk. I also had no sense of being in
control. The commands they had taught us to successfully ride the elephants-
‘pai’ for forward and ‘how’ for stop were next to useless. This became a
running joke towards the end and, I think, clear to everyone that the elephants
only really listened to our words when they wanted to, as soon as a juicy plant
came along ‘pai’ and ‘how’ were out the window. Towards the end of the trek on
more solid ground I felt a lot more composed and had started to become used to
the way Lucky moved underneath me. I was feeling quite smug with myself until I
had to dismount- this involved me slithering/jumping down her trunk. At least I
landed on my feet. The end of the first half of our trek had brought us to our
lunch stop which was in a beautiful location next to a river. The spread was
impressive, laid out across a huge table, food wrapped in the traditional way
with leaves. The meal was a bit of a lucky dip as it was all local dishes, some
delicious, some not some much. However, whatever we didn’t eat we could feed to
the elephants which we all enjoyed.
After finishing lunch we walked a while to a
clearing to meet the newest member of the farm, a two week old baby elephant. He
was completely adorable. I assumed that we would only be able to see the little
one from a distance and that the mother would be very protective at this early
stage, however, the mother stood, happily chomping away on bananas, while we
all cooed over the tiny, hairy baby crashing around between us all. I’m not
sure if this was a defence method or if the little elephant was not used to
using its long legs but when it got close to someone it would push against
them, moving them round and round. The baby was pushing against Dibbs for ages
and I couldn’t stop laughing. As well as the mother and baby there was another
small elephant of three years old. This elephant was such a character and had
clearly been getting a lot of attention and a LOT of bananas; I was in stitches
watching her running around accepting all the bananas she could carry in her
trunk and mouth, happily munching away and also dropping bananas all over the
floor as she eagerly accepted more that she couldn’t carry. As we walked away
both the smaller elephants came trotting after us and I was sad to leave them
behind. However, there were elephants to be ridden. Our leader announced that
in the afternoon we would be riding the elephants as couples- how romantic. Not
with Bun Jun around. After riding sweet little Lucky Bun Jun seemed HUGE. Also,
at lunch she was somehow the only elephant that had managed to find water and
get completely soaking wet. We climbed on; I sat on her head with Dibbs behind.
I felt as though I was going to be tipped off the second we started moving, Bun
Jun was a lot faster than Lucky and was happily shoving past the other
elephants, creating her own routes and dragging us into every bush and tree she
could get away with to grab more food. Had I been on my own I think I would
have been terrified but with both of us up there, we were soon howling with
laughter about our complete lack of control and unsteady seating. The afternoon
trek was stunning, we were walking through a river and peering around at
gorgeous scenery; mountains, rivers, lush green fields. I didn’t want it to
end. Sadly it did. I was depressed saying goodbye to Lucky. She gave me a
goodbye suck on the face with her trunk. I gave her a basket of bananas. 
On returning from the elephant farm, completely exhausted
but exhilarated we were desperate to find a more lively atmosphere for our
second (and last) night in Chiang Mai. After trekking around for ages, tired
and feet hurting, we once again gave up looking for any kind of a central part
to the old town and had some nice food on a quiet street. Despite not finding
anywhere to go for a few drinks, we decided to go to the night bazaar to look
around the market; now we had found the atmosphere. The market was busy and
bustling with all the usual goods on sale, but also on our way there we walked
through a street lined with restaurants and bars- finally! We strolled around
the markets and then walked back to the bars for a few drinks. We quickly found
ourselves in conversation with a Thai lady(boy)?! Who began to tell us the
story of all her past and present boyfriends. Fortunately, she drunkenly
wandered off and we got chatted to another couple, after a while Dibbs and the
other guy we were talking to got challenged to a game of pool by some ladyboys.
They lost. The girls then claimed that the boys had to buy them drinks, the
most expensive drinks in the bar too, I put my foot down, along with the other
girlfriend, and we moved on. Things closed down pretty early in Chiang Mai
compared to the southern islands where the party goes on all night so it was
off to bed ready for our journey to Pai the next day.
